TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-15-25
APPROVED
Stu Trololol
Strength25
Speed60
Endurance40
Technique95
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stu Trololol VS Fart Sniffer Supreme
Fart Sniffer Supreme
40Strength
50Speed
45Endurance
65Technique
0.8Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Stu Trololol
Violence concluded.
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