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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-13-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, December 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Suds Sullivan

Suds Sullivan

Strength90
Speed65
Endurance85
Technique82
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Suds Sullivan VS Low Battery Mode
Low Battery Mode

Low Battery Mode

103Strength
6Speed
101Endurance
102Technique
10.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
20Fingers
20Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Low Battery Mode
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule