TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-16-25
APPROVED
Passive Voice
Strength52
Speed86
Endurance73
Technique89
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread81
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Passive Voice VS Probability Jane
Probability Jane
66Strength
73Speed
82Endurance
79Technique
1.0Molecular Density
61Existential Dread
5Fingers
15Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Probability Jane
Violence concluded.
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