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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-16-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 16, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Nancy From HR

Nancy From HR

Strength66
Speed87
Endurance84
Technique63
Molecular Density83.0
Existential Dread100
Fingers12
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nancy From HR VS Grout Goblin Gary
Grout Goblin Gary

Grout Goblin Gary

74Strength
76Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
3.7Molecular Density
44Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Grout Goblin Gary
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule