TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-16-25
APPROVED
Rinse Jackson
Strength95
Speed55
Endurance95
Technique75
Molecular Density3.8
Existential Dread10
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Rinse Jackson VS Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
80Strength
60Speed
95Endurance
88Technique
2.8Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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