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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 17, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Glizzy Goblin

Glizzy Goblin

Strength75
Speed71
Endurance95
Technique80
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread78
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Glizzy Goblin VS Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger

95Strength
65Speed
88Endurance
75Technique
4.2Molecular Density
10Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Glizzy Goblin
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule