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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 17, 2025 at 11:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Last Two Percent

The Last Two Percent

Strength99
Speed97
Endurance100
Technique101
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread100
Fingers2
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Last Two Percent VS Gordon Ramsay
Gordon Ramsay

Gordon Ramsay

80Strength
89Speed
79Endurance
94Technique
2.8Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Last Two Percent
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule