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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-20-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, December 20, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Beef Supreme

Beef Supreme

Strength95
Speed60
Endurance81
Technique70
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beef Supreme VS Dank Dill
Dank Dill

Dank Dill

75Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
75Technique
45.2Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dank Dill
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule