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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 22, 2025 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
JC Chasez

JC Chasez

Strength55
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique88
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
JC Chasez VS Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
Instagram Ian "Content Creator"

Instagram Ian "Content Creator"

50Strength
92Speed
60Endurance
95Technique
1.2Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
Violence concluded.
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