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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"

Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"

Strength45
Speed40
Endurance95
Technique98
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer" VS Denture Deborah
Denture Deborah

Denture Deborah

55Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
85Technique
1.4Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
6Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule