TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-22-25
APPROVED
Mr. Rogers
Strength25
Speed35
Endurance100
Technique100
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread0
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mr. Rogers VS Steven Seagal
Steven Seagal
60Strength
40Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
2.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Steven Seagal
Violence concluded.
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