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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-23-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 23, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Vacuum Vinnie

Vacuum Vinnie

Strength85
Speed70
Endurance75
Technique70
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Vacuum Vinnie VS Impostor Syndrome Sid
Impostor Syndrome Sid

Impostor Syndrome Sid

75Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
1.7Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Impostor Syndrome Sid
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule