TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-23-25
APPROVED
Probability Jane
Strength66
Speed73
Endurance82
Technique79
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread61
Fingers5
Toes15
TALE OF THE TAPE
Probability Jane VS The Buffer
☠️ The Buffer ☠️
70Strength
64Speed
91Endurance
75Technique
1.6Molecular Density
67Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Probability Jane
Violence concluded.
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