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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-23-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 23, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Comfort Gecko

Comfort Gecko

Strength50
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density0.3
Existential Dread40
Fingers4
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
Comfort Gecko VS Knuckle up Nick
Knuckle up Nick

Knuckle up Nick

75Strength
71Speed
71Endurance
83Technique
64.9Molecular Density
84Existential Dread
25Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Knuckle up Nick
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule