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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 24, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Baby Triumphant

Baby Triumphant

Strength35
Speed60
Endurance30
Technique98
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers5
Toes5
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baby Triumphant VS Pocket Protector Pete
Pocket Protector Pete

Pocket Protector Pete

50Strength
40Speed
60Endurance
70Technique
1.5Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Baby Triumphant
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule