TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-24-25
APPROVED
Kennedy Loser
Strength30
Speed40
Endurance35
Technique45
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Kennedy Loser VS Fart Sniffer Supreme
Fart Sniffer Supreme
40Strength
50Speed
45Endurance
65Technique
0.8Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fart Sniffer Supreme
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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