TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-23-25
APPROVED
Black Friday Brenda
Strength95
Speed85
Endurance90
Technique75
Molecular Density3.5
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Black Friday Brenda VS The Last Two Percent
The Last Two Percent
98Strength
97Speed
100Endurance
100Technique
0.0Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
2Fingers
0Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Last Two Percent
Violence concluded.
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