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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-24-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 24, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Teflon Moonbeam

Teflon Moonbeam

Strength80
Speed85
Endurance81
Technique88
Molecular Density3.7
Existential Dread70
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Teflon Moonbeam VS Form 27-B Frank
Form 27-B Frank

Form 27-B Frank

85Strength
45Speed
98Endurance
100Technique
3.5Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Form 27-B Frank
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule