TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-24-25
APPROVED
The Efficiency Expert
Strength85
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique98
Molecular Density3.4
Existential Dread92
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Efficiency Expert VS Spandex Nightmare
Spandex Nightmare
75Strength
90Speed
78Endurance
92Technique
2.9Molecular Density
50Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Spandex Nightmare
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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