TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-25-25
APPROVED
Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"
Strength85
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique70
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread89
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming" VS Beta Tester Bob
Beta Tester Bob
80Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
2.7Molecular Density
36Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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