TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-25-25
APPROVED
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike
Strength77
Speed74
Endurance76
Technique73
Molecular Density3.8
Existential Dread52
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike VS Sandy Britches
Sandy Britches
70Strength
63Speed
96Endurance
71Technique
65.4Molecular Density
54Existential Dread
9Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems