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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 25, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Stone Cold Steve Austin

Stone Cold Steve Austin

Strength95
Speed75
Endurance90
Technique80
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stone Cold Steve Austin VS Beef Injection
Beef Injection

Beef Injection

92Strength
85Speed
89Endurance
75Technique
3.8Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Beef Injection
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule