TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-26-25
APPROVED
Ringo Starr
Strength45
Speed70
Endurance70
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Ringo Starr VS Bob Ross
Bob Ross
30Strength
40Speed
95Endurance
100Technique
1.2Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bob Ross
Violence concluded.
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