TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-26-25
APPROVED
Chris Kirkpatrick
Strength50
Speed75
Endurance65
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chris Kirkpatrick VS Anxiety Duck
Anxiety Duck
40Strength
98Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
0.8Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
2Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Chris Kirkpatrick
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems