TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-26-25
APPROVED
Warwick Davis
Strength50
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread35
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Warwick Davis VS Scroll Forever Susan
Scroll Forever Susan
45Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
92Technique
1.2Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Scroll Forever Susan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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