TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-26-25
APPROVED
The Waffle Iron
Strength70
Speed88
Endurance66
Technique76
Molecular Density3.3
Existential Dread22
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Waffle Iron VS Patch Note Pete
Patch Note Pete
80Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
2.5Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Patch Note Pete
Violence concluded.
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