TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-26-25
APPROVED
Nextdoor Neighbor Ned
Strength75
Speed85
Endurance65
Technique75
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread38
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nextdoor Neighbor Ned VS Dust Bunny Dominator
Dust Bunny Dominator
90Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
1.7Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dust Bunny Dominator
Violence concluded.
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