TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-26-25
APPROVED
Dr. Membrane PhD
Strength34
Speed67
Endurance81
Technique118
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread73
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dr. Membrane PhD VS Mx. Noodle
Mx. Noodle
19Strength
108Speed
86Endurance
87Technique
0.2Molecular Density
44Existential Dread
0Fingers
0Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dr. Membrane PhD
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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