TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-26-25
APPROVED
Xandra Pancakes
Strength65
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Xandra Pancakes VS Millipede Aqualuft
Millipede Aqualuft
65Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
80Technique
2.2Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
1000Fingers
1000Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Millipede Aqualuft
Violence concluded.
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