TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-26-25
APPROVED
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Strength91
Speed45
Endurance103
Technique61
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread127
Fingers1
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Unsubscribe Link VS Hot Sauce Harold “The Burninator”
Hot Sauce Harold “The Burninator”
96Strength
75Speed
70Endurance
60Technique
4.8Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
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Violence concluded.
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