TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-27-25
APPROVED
☠️ Xandra Pancakes ☠️
Strength62
Speed79
Endurance67
Technique89
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Xandra Pancakes VS Chris Kirkpatrick
Chris Kirkpatrick
50Strength
75Speed
65Endurance
85Technique
1.5Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Chris Kirkpatrick
Violence concluded.
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