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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-29-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 29, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With

The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With

Strength118
Speed100
Endurance19
Technique56
Molecular Density52.7
Existential Dread35
Fingers11
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Rope Jeff Didn't Hang Himself With VS YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY
YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY

YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY

121Strength
101Speed
21Endurance
60Technique
99.9Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
100Fingers
50Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

YOUTUBE 1vUvJz0SikY
Violence concluded.
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