TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-29-25
APPROVED
Gas Berger
Strength120
Speed100
Endurance50
Technique30
Molecular Density19.0
Existential Dread82
Fingers9
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gas Berger VS Mookie Sanders
Mookie Sanders
120Strength
100Speed
20Endurance
60Technique
84.6Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mookie Sanders
Violence concluded.
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