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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-03-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, January 3, 2026 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Sunday Night Dread

Sunday Night Dread

Strength73
Speed78
Endurance72
Technique77
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread96
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sunday Night Dread VS Regional Manager Dave
Regional Manager Dave

Regional Manager Dave

70Strength
45Speed
85Endurance
90Technique
2.8Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Sunday Night Dread
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule