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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-05-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, January 5, 2026 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Mr. Rogers

Mr. Rogers

Strength25
Speed35
Endurance100
Technique100
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread0
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mr. Rogers VS Kennedy Loser
Kennedy Loser

Kennedy Loser

30Strength
40Speed
35Endurance
45Technique
1.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Kennedy Loser
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule