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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-05-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, January 5, 2026 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Rubber Stamp

The Rubber Stamp

Strength60
Speed95
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density41.3
Existential Dread85
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Rubber Stamp VS HR Hivemind Helen
HR Hivemind Helen

HR Hivemind Helen

75Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
75Technique
2.6Molecular Density
68Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Rubber Stamp
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule