TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-05-26
APPROVED
Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"
Strength85
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique70
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread89
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming" VS The Waffle Iron
The Waffle Iron
70Strength
88Speed
66Endurance
76Technique
3.3Molecular Density
22Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Crisis Carl "Wakes Up Screaming"
Violence concluded.
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