TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-06-26
APPROVED
Verne Troyer
Strength35
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Verne Troyer VS Chris Kirkpatrick
Chris Kirkpatrick
50Strength
75Speed
65Endurance
85Technique
1.5Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Chris Kirkpatrick
Violence concluded.
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