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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-06-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, January 6, 2026 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Stinky Pete

Stinky Pete

Strength55
Speed90
Endurance50
Technique85
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread40
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stinky Pete VS Gross Gary
Gross Gary

Gross Gary

75Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
65Technique
2.3Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Gross Gary
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule