TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-06-26
APPROVED
Sandy Britches
Strength70
Speed63
Endurance96
Technique71
Molecular Density65.4
Existential Dread54
Fingers9
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sandy Britches VS Nancy From HR
Nancy From HR
66Strength
87Speed
84Endurance
63Technique
83.0Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
12Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Sandy Britches
Violence concluded.
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