TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-08-25
APPROVED
Anxiety Duck
Strength40
Speed98
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread95
Fingers2
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Anxiety Duck VS Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
50Strength
92Speed
60Endurance
95Technique
1.2Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Anxiety Duck
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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