TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-06-26
APPROVED
Comfort Gecko
Strength50
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density0.3
Existential Dread40
Fingers4
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
Comfort Gecko VS Barista Brad "Caffeine Crusher"
Barista Brad "Caffeine Crusher"
60Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
1.9Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Comfort Gecko
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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