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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-07-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 7, 2026 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
VIOLENCE PENDING

VIOLENCE PENDING

Strength105
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique50
Molecular Density67.1
Existential Dread90
Fingers8
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
VIOLENCE PENDING VS Punchin Bag
Punchin Bag

Punchin Bag

20Strength
40Speed
120Endurance
120Technique
33.6Molecular Density
49Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

VIOLENCE PENDING
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule