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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-07-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 7, 2026 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Overthinking Olivia

Overthinking Olivia

Strength65
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread93
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Overthinking Olivia VS Snack Attack Stan
Snack Attack Stan

Snack Attack Stan

70Strength
75Speed
85Endurance
70Technique
2.3Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Snack Attack Stan
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule