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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-07-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 7, 2026 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Penne for Your Thoughts

Penne for Your Thoughts

Strength70
Speed80
Endurance80
Technique90
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Penne for Your Thoughts VS Nylon Dreams
Nylon Dreams

Nylon Dreams

70Strength
95Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Nylon Dreams
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule