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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-07-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 7, 2026 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Form 27-B Frank

Form 27-B Frank

Strength85
Speed45
Endurance98
Technique100
Molecular Density3.5
Existential Dread99
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Form 27-B Frank VS Therapy Llama
Therapy Llama

Therapy Llama

75Strength
80Speed
85Endurance
88Technique
2.3Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Form 27-B Frank
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule