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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-08-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 8, 2026 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Boiling Singularity Vapors

Boiling Singularity Vapors

Strength120
Speed100
Endurance20
Technique60
Molecular Density8.1
Existential Dread100
Fingers17
Toes3
TALE OF THE TAPE
Boiling Singularity Vapors VS Punchin Bag
Punchin Bag

Punchin Bag

20Strength
40Speed
120Endurance
120Technique
33.6Molecular Density
49Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Boiling Singularity Vapors
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule