TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-08-26
APPROVED
Snack Attack Stan
Strength70
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique70
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Snack Attack Stan VS Scootie
Scootie
40Strength
120Speed
60Endurance
80Technique
19.1Molecular Density
57Existential Dread
14Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Snack Attack Stan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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