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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-08-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 8, 2026 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Glacial Patience

Glacial Patience

Strength93
Speed20
Endurance94
Technique93
Molecular Density11.6
Existential Dread89
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Glacial Patience VS Low Battery Mode
Low Battery Mode

Low Battery Mode

100Strength
2Speed
100Endurance
100Technique
10.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
20Fingers
20Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Glacial Patience
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule