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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-08-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 8, 2026 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Implied

The Implied

Strength55
Speed83
Endurance77
Technique85
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread92
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Implied VS Square Root
Square Root

Square Root

57Strength
80Speed
63Endurance
100Technique
1.4Molecular Density
73Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Square Root
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule